That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
honey bunches of taint.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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