I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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