At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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