so that wasnt chicken after all
im having a threesome with these popsicles
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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