He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
