Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
