Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
