I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
