What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
