Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize