I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
