hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
