Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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