'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
