So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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