dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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