Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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