Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
