would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
