i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
