it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
