dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
