you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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