Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
