she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
