The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
