Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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