dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
