Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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