This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
