we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize