I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
