well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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