i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
