i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize