i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
