half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
