i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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