my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
