the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
