His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
