It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
