Is it normal to miss your booty call?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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