On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
