Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
