hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize