you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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