Me too!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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