Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
