Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
