I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
