We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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