you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
