I wish I could punch you in the face.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
