we have officially lost it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
