Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
...so i touched it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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