we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize