I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
