I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
