smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
