is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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