If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bring me that man meat
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
