I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm jealous of your bromance
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
